


Restless to Climb

by mattygroves



Category: In the Heights - Miranda, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Alderaan Destruction, Mentions of Hosnian System Destruction, brief space violence, lots of adorable cuddling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-10 18:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6999382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattygroves/pseuds/mattygroves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nina returns to Yavin 4 after dropping out of the New Republic Academy. </p><p>"People started to recognize her as soon as her feet hit the landing pad. It had been a long journey from Hosnian Prime, and the news she had for her parents wasn’t exactly going to send them through the roof with joy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breathe

People started to recognize her as soon as her feet hit the landing pad. It had been a long journey from Hosnian Prime, and the news she had for her parents wasn’t exactly going to send them through the roof with joy. 

“Nina, hey Nina!”

People called her by name as she went and she managed to smile and exchange greetings as she passed, and even answer a few questions.

“Lots of tests! Lots of papers!” she called back, as her feet trudged the dusty path to her parent’s house and business, all jumbled together in one building on the far side of the Yavin IV colony.

Stand up straight, Nina. Just breathe.

There was Usnavi, waving shyly and ducking back inside his shop. His cousin Sonny and Pete took a break from kicking an old leather ball around the street to come give her big hugs. Usnavi’s and Sonny’s parents had come as refugees from a far flung planet on the outer rim that had been overrun by stormtroopers, and now they were all the family each other had in the galaxy.

Just breathe.

Pete was the farmhand on Kes Dameron’s farm up the road. He was still young, barely eighteen, and had wandered into the Yavin IV colony from force knew where a few years ago. He didn’t talk about his past life, or much about himself at all, but he had the heart of a revolutionary and soul of an artist.

Daniela and Carla came rushing out of the salon. A salon on this backwater planet had seemed strange to its inhabitants when the duo had shown up ten years ago, fresh from styling elaborate hairdos for senators and queens on Hosnian Prime. They had both grown up poor in the lower levels of the city and worked their way up to the highest levels. Eventually, they worked in the same salon, became friends, fell in love, and decided to make a new life for themselves away from the confines of Hosnian’s striated society.

Nina could feel her throat constricting as they enveloped her in a group hug. Breathe, Nina, you will not cry here.

“I better find my folks,” she said, breaking free.

Further down, “Nina!” A soft, familiar voice trembled in the air. Here was a voice that could not be ignored.

Breathe, Nina, you cry and I’ll end you.

“Abuela Claudia!” she called back, running into the older woman’s welcoming arms. Nina had never known her real grandparents. Many of her generation on Yavin IV hadn’t known theirs, either, or if they had, briefly. 

Abuela Claudia had been a child when the Sith had destroyed her homeworld. Suddenly, at the age of six, she and her mother were refugees, adrift in a galaxy that didn’t value the poor and insignificant. Eventually, they found themselves on an outer Hosnian planet, cleaning the homes of the very rich, living amongst the very poor. 

Little Claudia survived by the power of her mother’s story, the power of her mother’s voice. Every evening, she would hear stories of the heat, the vines, and the beautiful brown faces of her long forgotten home world. 

She was nearly an old woman herself, middle aged and prematurely bent from a lifetime of labor, when she heard of the new colony on Yavin IV that former Rebels were starting. They told of the heat and the vines, of clean air and open space for anyone who desired it. From that day, she worked toward a new goal, a new life on Yavin. The old goal was to survive. Now, somewhere in her fifties (she wasn’t even sure her exact age), she wanted to live. That was thirty years ago.

“Abuela,” Nina’s voice cracked and betrayed.

“Come inside, child,” Abuela whispered, leading the way.

The tears came as soon the door was shut. Abuela never even asked what she was crying about, just held her and patted her back, as though she were a child again with a scrape from following Poe Dameron up a tree too big for her.

“I know, I know,” Abuela said.

“I don’t know how to tell them,” Nina said at last.

“The words will come.”

“They’ll be so angry.”

“You know it never lasts. Just breathe, Nina, breathe.”

***

“I dropped out,” the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them, soften the blow somehow. 

She couldn’t bear to look at their faces.

“I’m not like you guys,” she continued, unable to stop, “I’m not a hero of the Rebellion, I couldn’t hack it on Hosnian Prime. I couldn’t keep up. I—I failed. I lost my scholarship and I just left.”

“When?” her mother, Camila, said finally. “When did you lose your scholarship?”

Nina swallowed.

“Three months ago.”

“And you said nothing. You lied to us for three months. Where were you, where did you live?”

“A friend got me a job at a bar, and there was an empty apartment over it, so I just stayed for awhile.”

Camila threw up her hands in disgust and left the room without another word.

Nina’s father, Kevin Rosario, owner and founder of Rosario’s Shuttle Service, said nothing. He wasn’t even looking at her; he looked—past her, like she wasn’t even there.

Nina and her parents had a lot in common, they were all pilots and all stubborn. And none of them were very good at feelings. She made her escape before her father decided to remember she was still in the room.

Out the back door there was a large garden and beyond that the jungle stretched out dark green, damp, and wild. Growing up, when she was upset, she would take off without a second thought. She never got lost, she could just run for miles until her tears were spent, dodging the large roots and keeping an eye out for the more poisonous of snakes.

But right now, she felt like a lot of people, so she made her way back to Carla and Daniela’s salon. Her hair really needed some help in this humidity, anyway, she reasoned. 

She wandered if she would seem desperate sending Vanessa another holo. Vanessa still hadn’t responded to her last one.

Yeah, definitely desperate, Nina. Vanessa’s a busy woman.

***

“My father was a farmer, his father was farmer, and you will be a farmer.”

His father’s words rang in Kevin’s ears as he listened to his daughter’s news. With every word that spilled out of her, he felt—useless. 

“Papi,” Kevin remembered saying, “I’m gonna be a pilot. I’ll get into the Academy and fly for the Republic.”

“Useless boy,” his father had said.

He could still feel the sting of his father’s slap on his cheek. 

At the age of fourteen, he ran away and bullshitted his way through the galaxy, learning the fly, fight, smuggle, whatever was needed. He never looked back. When he was just twenty-two, he heard the news of Alderaan’s destruction and he thought of home for the first time in years. By the time he made it back, months later, the farming community where he, his parents, his brothers and sisters, countless uncles, aunts, and cousins—all gone. He could still make out the storm trooper boot prints in the dry, cracked soil.

So he had joined the Rebellion. It turned out he had a skill and an affinity for slipping into Imperial compounds undetected, for eliciting information from the unwilling, for those parts of war that the morally upright would rather not discuss.

He went on like that for a few years, on the fringes, part of the movement yet separated by his unspeakable actions in their name. He knew they needed him and despised him. After the battle of Endor, an X-Wing descended from the sky and from it emerged the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Camila, with large brown eyes and short, fluffy dark hair, and somehow impossibly gorgeous in that hideous orange flightsuit. 

***  
Camila was not feeling impossibly gorgeous as she roughly liberated root vegetables from the soil. She was impossibly angry. She couldn’t have imagined she would ever be this angry at her daughter. She and Kevin used to say how lucky they were, how sweet, smart, and ambitious their only daughter was, and now—

She had lied to them. Lied. For three months. She could have been killed in some seedy bar in Hosnian Prime’s galaxy-famous underbelly and they would have never heard about it, never known where their beautiful daughter had disappeared to.

She unearthed another row. She’d invited the whole colony over for dinner to celebrate Nina’s return. Whatever had happened with Nina, Camila had promised people a party and they would damn well get one, whether they liked it or not.

***  
“So, Nina, you gonna pick back up with Benny where you left off?” Daniela asked in her blunt manner.

“I kind of met someone,” she said.

“Is he handsome?” Carla asked.

“She’s gorgeous.”

Daniela and Carla gave each other a long look, as if wordlessly settling a bet.

“I just don’t really know where I stand, and I don’t know when I’ll see her again.”

“Isn’t the Academy back in session in a few months?”

Nina weighed the question for a moment before deciding to answer.

“I dropped out.”

Carla’s scissors clattered on the floor and Daniela’s mouth hung open.

“I’m sorry, what?” Daniela said.

“How did your parents react?” Carla asked at the same time.

“They’re not happy,” Nina squirmed under their gaze. After so many years together they seemed to live as two extensions of the same entity. It was disconcerting.

“I should go,” she finally said, “You’re coming tonight?”

They nodded uniformly, not breaking their dumbfounded stare. Nina fled. Strong patterns of avoidance, the Academy psych eval had said.


	2. It Won't Be Long Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s good to be back!” Poe announced as though he was beginning a speech. To Kes’ chagrin, he was.

Nina responded to the knock on her door to find Vanessa. Instead of the cadet uniform Nina was used to, Vanessa wore an olive green tank, tight pants, and boots that just dared anyone to try and mess with her.

“Doing anything tonight?” she asks, leaning in the doorway.

“Uh, packing,” Nina said. It was her last night on Hosnian Prime. A week of slow, cheap travelling awaited her, starting early tomorrow morning. 

“Good, you’re free.”

“Um...”

Nina is powerless to protest as Vanessa sweeps everything she’d been trying to pack off her bed and takes a seat. Not that she tries very hard.

“I brought you a present.”

Vanessa pulls out a simple bottle with a fancy label that Nina recognizes immediately.

“No way,” she takes the bottle of Alderaan champagne, “Damn, the bottle’s all sweaty and everything. How’d you find this?”

“I have my ways. Some dude owed me a favor.”

Vanessa had—well, she didn’t call them friends—she had associates all over the city. Nina had no idea how far her network extended, but Vanessa had managed to get her this job and apartment in less than a day, so it was probably pretty far. Growing up a scrappy orphan in a city that wanted nothing more than to keep you down had a way of making a girl like Vanessa tough; a survivor.

“Never again,” Nina raised her glass in the toast her parents’ had taught her. It rang out all over the Republic and farther across the galaxy anytime someone was lucky enough to snag a bottle of the destroyed planet’s famous champagne. 

“Never again,” said Vanessa.

***  
Just thinking about that night made Nina’s throat burn. Maybe it was the Corellian whiskey, too.

***  
“Will you come back?”

“I don’t know. You could come visit Yavin IV.”

“Can you imagine me in that little backwater?” Vanessa laughed. “Besides, there’s no way I’m getting off this rock before my cadet training is over. I’m taking extra courses this summer, though.”

“Hopefully your next escape from this planet will be less dramatic than the last time you tried.”

“I regret ever telling you that story,” Vanessa says, hitting Nina across the face with a pillow, spilling champagne everywhere. 

They’re laughing too much to care, though.

At the age of twelve, Vanessa had stolen a small freighter from the city’s main docking bay.

“Besides, I almost made it. I was seconds from hyper drive when they tractored me back in. They’ve increased security anyway, I’d have to find another way off.”

Her stunt had caught the attention of an important Republic official, though, who had been paying for her schooling at the academy ever since.

“If Senator Antilles hadn’t saved your ass, you’d still be in prison.”

“I guess you’re pretty lucky then that you got to meet me. Besides, you know I’d just escape prison and become a pirate.”

***  
The idea, as unlikely as it was, that Vanessa had somehow survived and was swanning around the galaxy in a ridiculous cape held a modicum of comfort. That must be the whiskey starting to work.

***  
“Why am I still awake?” Nina groaned. “My shuttle leaves in 3 hours.”

“You can sleep on the shuttle.”

“And I haven’t even packed.”

“Packing’s for losers. I have a better idea,” Vanessa said, rolling onto her side so that she was propped up on one elbow very, very close to Nina’s face.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Nina said, just before she was kissed.

***  
Nina hadn’t ended up getting any sleep that night, and she forgot a number of possessions in her rushed packing job. She slammed back another shot of whiskey as she scanned the room. 

Her homecoming party had been cut brutally short when Kes Dameron ran in, nearly breathless with the news of Hosnian’s destruction. The shock rippled through the room, and no one was left untouched. Nina’s brain seemed to shut down in disbelief until she caught the sad looks from Daniela and Carla across the room. It flooded back; “I kind of met someone...she’s gorgeous...”

Many shots of whiskey later, a few people were still talking in hushed voices; some had gone home. Kes was whispering fiercely with her mother and father. Benny was huddled with Usnavi, Sonny, and Pete in the far corner. Another shot of whiskey and Nina had grabbed him by the elbow and led him outside. He let her lead him down a path into the jungle. It was dark, but they both knew the way like the back of their hands.

After a mile of walking they reached the abandoned rebel base nestled in the vines and picked their way through rubble until they reached the old hall. What little moonlight there was shone through the broken stained glass in small, dim pools.

“You’re drunk,” Benny said at last.

“I’m not that drunk. I wanna do this,” she put her lips on his.

“I’m a little drunk, too,” he said, breathlessly. He had missed this.

“I’m not sure about this,” he said, kicking himself for hearing those words come out his own mouth.

She turned away.

“Hey, Nina, I’m sorry,” he said, taking her shoulders. She seemed to sag under the touch. Her tears became sobs and he held her to his chest, resting his chin on her head. 

“I know, I know,” he said softly.

His hand rubbed circles on her back and his shirt was wet from her tears. He led her to one of the old benches and let her fall asleep on his lap.

Really not where he had expected tonight to go. Damn, these benches were like rock.

***  
Her face was rumpled when she finally sat up, rubbing the crick in her neck. Benny stretched gratefully.

“I’m sorry about last night, Benny.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re a good friend.”

There it was.

“C’mon,” he said, “There’s a spot on the roof where we can watch the sunrise.”

***  
Three days later, Kes Dameron receives word that Starkiller base has been destroyed and the First Order is on the run. They’ll regroup, but it’s a crushing blow.

***  
Nina saw Benny at the party to celebrate Starkiller’s destruction.

“I’m not drunk this time,” she said.

“Me neither.”

But when they were alone in the dark of Benny’s one room shelter, he said:

“Nina, I know you lost someone—someone important to you. I don’t want to take advantage of that.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the one taking advantage here,” she said.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

***  
Many of the younger people on Yavin IV now talked about joining the Resistance. Kes had visitors everyday asking him to contact the secret base on their behalf. He told them that General Organa was regrouping, but would take on new troops soon. 

Among those wanting to go were Sonny and Pete. Pete, alone in the Galaxy, had no one to stand in his way, but Sonny’s cousin Usnavi was not thrilled with the idea.

“You’re only seventeen,” he said.

“That’s a year past age of consent in the Republic,” Sonny said.

“The Republic barely exists anymore, and I say it’s too young.”

***  
Like Pete, Benny didn’t have anyone stopping him.

“Come with me,” he said to Nina.

“What good would I be to the Resistance? I failed out of the Academy, remember?”

“You can fly an X-Wing, that’s all they’re gonna care about. I’ll probably be stuck flying freight.”

***  
“Maybe he’s right,” Pete said, putting his arm around Sonny. “Wait a year, it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“With my luck, it’ll be over by then.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know, man, but Usnavi’s not lying, he needs your help with the store. It’s a lot of work and his lungs—”

“He could find someone else to help out. It doesn’t have to be me.”

“You’re the only family he’s got left,” Pete said, kissing his forehead.

***  
Three weeks later, Kes got word that his son was coming for some R&R. Kes figured it was the least the General could do for him after letting his ass get captured, tortured, and nearly killed. He was still angry that his old friend Leia had waited until after Starkiller’s destruction to tell him just how close he had come to losing his son. Again. 

Poe’s arrivals on Yavin always drew a crowd. He would land his X-Wing on a dusty plot of land about halfway between the settlement and his father’s farm, and when his feet hit the ground he would sweep off his helmet, revealing perfect black curls and a shit-eating grin. Everyone would swoon—everyone except Kes, who rolled his eyes before wrapping his son in a rib-crushing embrace.

This time was different. Instead of a flashy X-Wing, the ship that touched down was an unprepossessing shuttle that had seen better days. As the hatch opened skyward, it revealed Poe dressed not in the orange flightsuit, but simple black pants, a white shirt, and an olive jacket. He was supporting another man, about his height, with darker skin, wearing a dark grey shirt over tan pants, and a brown jacket that caused Kes to raise an eyebrow. 

Poe caught his father’s look. There was that shit-eating grin, briefly, but his expression went quickly back to one of concern as he helped the other man navigate the shuttle’s steps in the least painful way. The man was clearly nursing an injury.

From behind them, BB-8 whizzed down the ramp, its head turning back and forth until it spotted its target. Rolling up to Kes until it bumped his shins, BB-8 whirred when Kes bent to pat its head.

“It’s good to be back!” Poe announced as though he was beginning a speech. To Kes’ chagrin, he was. 

“This is Finn,” Poe continued, “A hero of the Resistance.”

“Uh, Poe,” the other man stage whispered, “Is this really necessary?”

“Yes,” Poe stage whispered back before continuing at a moderate boom, “Finn rescued me single handedly from the clutches of the First Order, risking his own life and limb.”

The crowd applauded and cheered at all the appropriate times as Poe regaled them with their daring escape to Jakku. Finn swore he heard someone wolf-whistle when Poe got to the part about them reuniting at the Resistance base.

“You flew the Tie fighter, though.” 

“You’re really ruining my moment, buddy.”

“Sorry?”

“No, you’re not. Anyway. Finn was also instrumental in the destruction of Starkiller base, going in with an advance unit and lowering the shields so we could attack with our squadrons of X-Wings. He faced Kylo Ren himself and survived a brutal lightsaber attack—”

“About that,” Finn interrupted again.

“We should probably get you home to rest.”

“That would be ideal.”

“You can all meet Finn later!” Poe announced before leading Finn down the final steps.

Everyone was used to Poe’s theatrics and knew that he would make time to come see them all individually during the course of his stay, because he always did.

Poe caught someone’s eye in the crowd that caused him to pass Finn off, not ungently, to his father to support.

“Uh, hi, I’m Finn.”

“Yes, I heard. Kes Dameron, good to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

“Nina!” cried Poe, picking her up and spinning her around. “I was so worried you hadn’t made it off.”

“I arrived here the day it happened,” she said, squinting at him in the sun, trying her best to mirror his smile.

“Force, I’m glad,” he said, putting her down. “We’ll talk later. Finn apparently needs rest after being lightsabered in the back.”

“I can hear you,” said Finn.

“Alright, alright,” Poe took Finn’s waist again, carefully avoiding his injury. “ I hate to tell you, but our options are bumpy ride,” he indicated his dad’s old speeder parked beyond the crowd, “Or short walk.”

Finn eyed the speeder suspiciously, “I think I’ll take my chances with the short walk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! The response to the first chapter was so lovely. The next update will take about two weeks, and I'm so excited to share more with you guys!!
> 
> xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> There will be Poe/Finn adorableness in the upcoming chapters, I promise it's worth the wait!!
> 
> Thanks for reading, this has been a long ongoing project for me (my longest Fic yet), but it is mostly finished and will be updated weekly.
> 
> Kudos and comments so appreciated!


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